I won’t lie and say I’m doing great, but I am doing better. I’ve really be struggling with my faith. Well, not exactly my faith, because I still believe in God. The problem is, I’ve been so mad at Him. In fact, I just went to another funeral on July 3. My aunt, Mama’s sister, finally passed away after months of suffering from brain cancer. I’d say my whole family has a right to be mad. But I’m working on it. I don’t want anger to eat at me, so I’m slowly making peace. In my own way and time.

I made a blog about my mom. There’s not a lot there yet, but I’ll be filling it with memories, stories and the occasional picture. If you’re interested, the url is http://tale.heartwhispers.com/.

Mama’s not going to make it. We stopped chemo in March. The tumors were still growing rapidly and the chemo was nothing more than torture. She doesn’t have much time left and I’m brokenhearted, but her pain and suffering is worse.

Please keep us in your thoughts.

Mom came home Saturday (2/2), but ended up in the hospital again yesterday. She was doing really well until Wednesday night when she started having a harder time breathing. She went to have blood drawn yesterday morning and her doctor decided to admit her. They got her heart rate to slow down and she’s breathing easier, but they still have tests they want to run.

She was only home 3 days in January. I’d rather her be in the hospital getting the care she needs then be home and suffer. I miss her, but I want what’s best for her.

My aunt’s brain tumor is back X2 plus they are cancerous this time. But, she’s medically well enough to be sent home by herself! She is no where near able to care for herself. Which brings us to why mom can’t care for her…

After almost 2 months of being sick, we finally badgered mom into going to the doctor. Right before Thanksgiving she was diagnosed with lung cancer. 2 spots in her left lung and 1 in her right. She’s in the hospital for the third time since then, this time because of fluid in her left lung. It looked really bad, but she’s a fighter. She’ll be having her second chemo treatment soon. I pray it works. I have never been so scared.

Ok, I’m a few days late, but I haven’t felt much like blogging, or anything else, lately. The day before my birthday I started getting dizzy spells. I figured they’d go away and besides, I was going to the doctor’s in 8 days…I could wait. Then the guys we hired to do our driveway decided 4 days before my appointment was a good time to start. Now my appointment is Nov. 9 and I still can’t get out of the house a week later! Everyone is insisting it’s my diabetes, but I know better. I broke down and took sinus headache medicine and something to dry me up and, ta-da, I haven’t been dizzy since! I still don’t feel great but at least the room isn’t spinning!